Marathon

As a runner, I always get asked if I have run a marathon. The last four years I sleepishly nod my head and follow it with, “but it was the worst race I have ever ran…” I was ashamed of my experience. It was painful and I hated almost every step of the race. I want what I think most want from a marathon. I wanted to cross it off my list. I wanted it to be a part of my story. But I hated the outcome and instead ended up leaving it out. I mean, I couldn’t even put a coveted 26.2 sticker on my car!

Fast forward to four years later, 9 half marathons under my belt and I was finally at least “open” to the idea of running another marathon. So many life changes happened to me in 2015. In July, I quit the job that I had been at for three and a half years, took a leap of faith and started personal training at a studio with many of my co-workers . I realized I had never quit a job. Even though I was going to be in the same line of work, I did not have a secured income. Despite the uneasy feeling I knew in my heart, for my own health and well-being, this was the best step for me. Most of all I was beginning to not only say it, but believed God would provide. Relinquishing control was going to be no easy journey.

Then I was given an open door. I spent a weekend with one of my best friends and running buddies at the end of October. Emily has asked me multiple times to do another marathon with her. I have given her the same look and response every time. It was a quick ‘no ‘and a change of subject. You know someone is a true friend when they are persistent. She seemed to believe in me more than I believed in myself. I went to visit Emily and her husband, Sean, to get away, be encouraged and spend quality time with them. I was at a point where I was struggling with what was next. I had many frustrations toward God and not understanding where he was leading me and why I had to go through so many ups and downs that fall. I knew I needed to revamp my outlook. Emily and I started talking about running and the impact it has on our lives. We were trying to figure out what our next race would be. I always assume she knows it will be a half-marathon. Then I said I would really like to go to Austin again and race in February. Emily pointed out that we couldn’t fly all the way to Austin and run the half…I surprised myself by saying, “lets do it.”

Lets run the FULL MARATHON. In my head thinking, are these words really coming out of my mouth??? Emily was just as surprised as I was. But it was time. It was time to overcome my fear of marathons. But most importantly, running is where I feel closest to God. It is the place I have had my biggest breakdowns and biggest breakthroughs. God has taught me lessons and revealed more to me then I even know, through running. In a season where I needed to stop seeking affirmation from this world, training for a full marathon was my way of growing closer to God.

Emily, Sean and I sat in Starbucks that Sunday morning dreaming and getting giddy about the possibility of running the marathon in Austin. Sean just laughed at us because we sounded like crazy girls getting so excited to run 26.2 mile while training through the winter and the holidays. We were up for the challenge, being only 15 weeks away we couldn’t linger on this decision. We had to decide quickly, start making travel plans and study our training plan.

Emily and I texted each other almost daily telling each other of our great runs or those days we had to pound away for 8 miles on the treadmill. We were able to do almost all of our long runs together. We endured negative degree temps, snow obstacles and the occasional 60 degree January Saturday. Those long runs provided us with time to talk about our weeks, our relationship with God and dreams of the future.

Fast forward to February 14, 2016. Valentine’s Day. Or as we called it that weekend, GALentine’s Day. As a single girl, I wasn’t by myself on this day. I was with 4 amazing friends. I was also about to run 26.2 miles on this romantic holiday. My confidence was high about the race and our training. It all hit me that morning. I felt sick, almost nauseous with nerves. The emotions hit me before the race instead of after. As Emily and I stood on Congress Ave in Austin, Texas with 15,000 other runners waiting for the sun to rise, I realized the journey God had taken us on over the past 15 weeks and it was about to be over. I wasn’t running this race to just mark another race off my bucket list.

I was running because of the deep desire God put on my heart.

I was running to use over 4 hours to worship God for giving me the strength to push my body past my own limits. Knowing I had to rely on God to get me through each step and cross the finish line with Him carrying me.

I was running to spend time with a sister in Christ and to enjoy the sacrifices we made during all of those cold and early training runs.

I was running to see God reveal to me my self worth and give me a renewed mind. To look past my fears and shortcomings and towards hope and a future.

Emily and I cruised through the race. We had aches and pains but nothing excruciating. By mile 13 we started praying for our close family and friends. We prayed out loud. Forgetting about the temporary pain we were enduring and praying for those hurting around us. We put our headphones in shortly after this and tried not to increase our pace too much as we jammed out to our tunes.

I never hit my usual ‘wall’, this was new to me. I kept thinking I would get there, but I only became tired and slightly fatigued those last 2.5 miles. Emily seemed to have an extra spring in her step compared to myself, but I didn’t let it get to me. I had to remind myself the pain is only temporary. With about 800 meters to go we had to climb up the biggest hill yet. Who planned this race! Why would they do that to us!? Ok I wasn’t surprised;) As much as I wanted to walk, I knew I couldn’t. I turned to my right to see our cheering squad encouraging me up that hill. They ran up on the side with me and I knew I was so close I couldn’t give up now. Emily was right around the curve and we were able to finish together just like we started:) Once we crossed the big fat finish line and wobbled through the chute, our emotions and feelings stood still for a moment.

I think we became instantly nostalgic that this race was over and the journey God took us on these 15 weeks had ended as well. It’s amazing how God can used a simple race to teach me so much about myself while growing closer to Him. This race was more then just another marathon and I will forever cherish the journey it took me on.